im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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