I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
