Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
