got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize
