so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
