The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
