Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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