yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
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