I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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