He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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