he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
