You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
