I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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