If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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