He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
did i just pee glitter
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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