Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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