you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
