I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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