If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
