he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
