Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Say something about gay babies.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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