you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize