ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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