im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
