the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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