I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
