He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
