I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
