C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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