My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
