Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
