we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
