so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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