It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
