I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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