Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
