Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
