Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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