I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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