Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
