her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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