How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
