If that was your dad, he is hot
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
