she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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