I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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