You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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