Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
