the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize