I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
