This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
