In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
