so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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