"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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