this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
