you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
