Hey man sorry I got all grabby
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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