It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
