awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Randomize
